Moments

First day working in the garden with Daddy

Over the last few days as I went about I thought about moments of my life, just little ones. Here they are not in any kind of order. As my life is. 

- It could smell like sweet breast milk on the cracks of my babies dirt covered fingers as he reaches for my mouth while nursing as if he where saying "aren't I the world and everything in it". 

- An unpleasant surprise of finding something soaked in pee an old shirt a cloth diaper that should have made it to the diaper pail and  forgotten, hopefully, outside. Unlucky in the laundry basket four days old. 

-That feeling of scrubbing porridge stuck to the side of the pan. I forgot to soak in the morning as we rushed outside to the sunny day.

- Mixing dirt for starts I'm pouring in cups of soured curd that has sat in glass jars outside beside green house for months it smells like sweet yogurt cheese. I almost want to try eating it as I stir it in with the warm dirt, food for plants.

- Cutting onions starting to charmalize in butter and salt, stir, stir. One arm holding 25lbs of infant  that is my sore arm by the end of the day every day, must remember to change sides. Every so often he lends over to look and me and smile. Food yes, very exciting. 

-Loads and loads of laundry washed and hung on the line to dry, cracking stiff carharts, towels that are starchy. Realizing that the laundry basket is full of toilet paper to refill the shelf.

-Eggs cracking in the bowl, so many eggs and piles of shells that make little leaning towers in little puddles of clear whites that turn to cement if you don't remember to clean them up right away. 

-Mostly joy that fills me right up to the top. 

If you find something while I have the camera it gets a picture. 

If you are a living thing while I have the camera you get a picture. Etc. 

The newest addition to The Farm are three ducks. Who are working hard to de-slug the garden. They are very tame and travel around the yard in a chicken tractor. They give us two eggs a day and are so fun to watch splash about in their bath tub. I take the girls out once a day and let them roam the yard. Chasing them away from the garden if they get to close to my starts.  Three laying hens left to make room for new beaks to feed. We are hoping to grow some of our own feed for our chickens and ducks on our half acre. 

A pile of eggs washed by Lyra. 

killing the cow

Thank you to Reo, Sacha, Hugh and Liam for all helping out with slaughtering.
Lyra put it best as Noah pulled out the liver she said,  Oh YUM, look at that nice big liver for Morgan. My babies never sleep so good as when they get liver for dinner.
I am looking for to cooking up our nice tender beef over the summer. Usually we slaughter in the fall so it's a nice treat.   I am so looking forward to summer cooking.

Paul gave us some spinach starts the other day.  We have  been late getting seeds in the ground this year, but are blessed with hundreds of voulenteers. I love finding them everywhere.  I've been planting them out evening bit of time in the morning and evening that I can get. Thank you heirlooms seeds. 

Another gift of kale, so good I just had to get a photo. This was the day we ate eggs for hard boiled breakfast, kale frittata dinner and custard for dessert. The next day I drove around gifting eggs. 

My little stander chatting with Sonora 

The sheep have been moved down to their posh summer home on the loop with an ocean view and plenty of fresh grass, as Lyra shows the grass is  good enough for bare feet running. 

unplugged

Learning how to unplug my life.
 We live in an 800 square foot open house (with a loft bedroom), the only other room being the bathroom. Our computer once lived on the book shelf right in the middle of our living area. The center of our home and a constant pull towards it from all who live here. With a, maybe I'll just edit those photos while she's playing on her own, we need to check the weather, how did I make that I"ll just google it, I wonder if she's written me back on facebook yet, change the music, did I tell you about... And just like that most of my days would go by. About four months ago I'd had enough, with Lyra knowing how to use the computer the song would change about once every half moment and movie requests felt constant. It was either get rid of the computer or DO something. I picked it up and moved it to our room. This has worked. Not only was it out of sight out of mind, but since I usally am sleeping with the children, Noah does not say up researching or emailing at night, helping us all get better sleeps, which is so precious.
Maybe another reason I don't get around to blogging very often. I don't turn the computer on until late in the day and during the day I have thought about when I would like to do on it. I have to find time to blog with Noah is home, so the ideas are written up in my head at very interupted intervals.  Something I realized what that if I put my normal day computer time unto play time with my children my life is so much richer.
 Recently I got to listen to these inspired words at our general conference. Rosemary M. Wixom said "

Unfortunately, the distractions of this world prevent many children from hearing encouraging words that could shape their view of themselves.

Dr. Neal Halfon, a physician who directs the UCLA Center for Healthier Children, Families, and Communities, refers to “parental benign neglect.” One example involved an 18-month-old and his parents:

“‘Their son seemed happy, active and engaged, clearly enjoying time and pizza with his parents. … At the end of dinner, Mom got up to run an errand, handing over care to Dad.’

“Dad … started reading phone messages while the toddler struggled to get his attention by throwing bits of pizza crust. Then the dad re-engaged, facing his child and playing with him. Soon, though, he substituted watching a video on his phone with the toddler until his wife returned.

“… [Dr.] Halfon observed a dimming of the child’s internal light, a lessening of the connection between parent and child.”⁵

The answer to our prayer of how to meet our children’s needs may be to more often technologically disconnect. Precious moments of opportunity to interact and converse with our children dissolve when we are occupied with distractions. Why not choose a time each day to disconnect from technology and reconnect with each other? Simply turn everything off. When you do this, your home may seem quiet at first; you may even feel at a loss as to what to do or say. Then, as you give full attention to your
children, a conversation will begin, and you can enjoy listening to each other.

to read more go to lds.org

I have noticed something very unsettling. The amount that people are on there phones seems extremly exessive. Parents at park with children, parent on the phone, parents at store with chilldren parents on the phone, parents in the car with children looking at phone. As I recently walked by about 20 in a ferry line up there was not one car with people talking every single person had a device and was each in their own world. At my hospital stay was a common sight to see parents come in and sit near there new born baby and instead of holding or even looking at their infant they would be on the device. 

May each of us hold our children close to our hearts even closer than the wireless devices that our always in our pockets. 

see you soon

Dear Fifi,
I wanted to write you and thank you for all that you given to me and my family. It all started when you first arrived on our farm a few years ago. After milking, Ginger, the highland you were such a nice change. Soft and gentle enough even for our than two year old daughter to milk.  And how much milk you gave, two gallons a day with plenty of thick buttery cream. You gave enough milk that I could start experimenting with cheese making. From you came cottage cheese, cream cheese, yogurt cheese, squeaky curds, whey, cheddar and so much yogurt. Never has there been an animal I have been more grateful to than you. When I was pregnant your milk would take my nausea away for days or completely halt it with one cup. And the feeling of life it gave me for two weeks of exhaustion after the baby was born, drinking two cups a day thick with balls of buttery fat going straight to my infants milk supply. Nothing better than to look in the hospital fridge and see your good living milk. I'll miss the way Noah's head would always smell like you when he kissed me and the children good night from leaning his head on your flank at night time milking. I'll miss curry combing you out in the summer sun as thick winter fur gives away to a shiny black coat. I am so glad you found the best home I could think of on beautiful Linnea Farm on Cortes Island. You deserve to be milked and may you calve many healthy calves. To you Fifi all my love and because good bye is to hard to say sometimes, I'll just say see you later.

warming to room temp

Amanda and family

curd 

mozzarella

colostrum butter

learning how to use the brakes

Ever since I was a little girl I have had recurring dream that I'm driving a car and no matter which of the two petals I press the car just goes faster and faster, usually until I go flying down a hill, crash or wake up, whatever comes first. Last week I had this dream but this time there was a voice calling me to look down at my feet where there was a third petal, that I had never seen before I pressed it and the car slowed down to a stop.  At which time I looked back and realized my family was all in the car with me I felt a great sense of relief that they where all safe. Sometimes you need some time to decipher your dreams and sometimes they are screaming clear.

It was a beauty day last week and the first time that Morgan has gotten dirt stuck under his finger nails and grass prints in his little naked knees. The garden's got rototilled and the soiling is just asking to be planted. So that's what I did.

   
 The only thing growing in the green house is this strange fuzzy grey lump and some onion starts which didn't pose very well for the camera.

I have already started thinking of recipes for our raspberry harvest this summer and I'm thinking some market sales. Is this like counting your eggs before they've hatched our your berries before they've bloomed.

Renewal

this afternoon

As giant spring snowflakes fall, I'm finding time to blog again. Spring is a time of renewal, of rebirth and the promise of new life. Maybe my favorite season, don't tell autumn because I can never make up my mind. This spring everything is changing for us after much thought and talking Noah and I have choosen to let go of much of our animal farming, our land leases and focus on our children, our own veggie garden and raise some laying hens. This is not because of lack of support and I want to shout a giant Thank You to everyone who overwhelmingly supported us. We are also not going to be farming with Etienne as we are moving in very different directions in our farming values and in life. We may be at the market and some of our extra veggies will make it to Amped in the summer. I'm going to have to sell at least some of those amazing raspberries that are sprouting in the snow. It's going to be hard to say good bye to some well loved animals and we are looking for great homes for them. I am excited about pouring energy into our garden, if I have no meat animals that almost makes me a vegetarian, lucky for Noah the freezer if full for now. I have always focoused this blog on our farm. That's why I'm bringing the name back to The Farm. But since it's not a business anymore you'll hear of things like natural bee keeping, cloth diapers, waldorf, homeschooling, lots of cooking, eating, cleaning whatever else comes along the way. Maybe even do something, unheard of last year, like going to the beach in the... wait for it... SUMMER!

a little sunshine egg for Morgan's breakfast

I see a shadow

My Shadow

BY ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON

I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,

And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.

He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;

And I see him jump before me, when I jump into my bed.

The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow—

Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;

For he sometimes shoots up taller like an india-rubber ball,

And he sometimes gets so little that there's none of him at all.

He hasn't got a notion of how children ought to play,

And can only make a fool of me in every sort of way.

He stays so close beside me, he's a coward you can see;

I'd think shame to stick to nursie as that shadow sticks to me!

One morning, very early, before the sun was up,

I rose and found the shining dew on every buttercup;

But my lazy little shadow, like an arrant sleepy-head,

Had stayed at home behind me and was fast asleep in bed.

You know the sun has not been out for a while when your child laughs with excitement upon finding her shadow. We have been inside on many, many rainy days with many different illnesses. I hope to look back on this as the sickest winter we ever have had. I have been looking for the cold weather to come and cure what seems to just linger in our bodies. I am washing the bedding and leaving in outside over night and enjoying the good smell of bringing in crunchy bedding the morning. I have been missing all of the animals being inside with the children in the stormy rain. They have been there all the time, giving me meat (Noah slaughtered our chickens) and milk from Fifi which I have been pouring on the garden until all of our noses and ears are clear. The other day I got to weed and transplant a bit in the garden with Morgan sleeping on my back, that felt good, to have my fingers in the dirt again the first time since August. The raspberries got fixed up and are in nice straight lines (much to my pleasure). Yesterday I went around with the camera and got some photos in the lovely frost. We are slaughtering our own sheep (these are NOT for sale), I'm very excited and also a little sad to see our ram from this spring, Brother, slaughtered. He was a lovely sheep and had very good confirmation. He had had a good life and we will be respectful by not wasting, skin, meat or bones and will thank him for growing my family strong. We are excited for a new year of farming the theme for this year is not to get any bigger but to get better at what we do. We are really enjoying this learning process and hope for happy growing in 2013.  We are telling our animal tales at the Q of U at the Heriot Bay in on January 23 so stop by and say Hi or come ask questions about what we are doing. See you there,  I'll be the one with a baby at the bar:)

running from her shadow 

getting some sun onto his skin one of our clever roasters who escaped the pot suns himself 

This is Cherry of one of our surprise twins from this past August prancing around 

using all the "bits" to make a really good stock

Helping string up the raspberry on a windy day in November 

jack frost was out