Loving Heart

 In my daughter's short five years she has witnessed deaths of many animals, so it is with life on a farm. Some animals dying from old age, illness or most often for food. She has always been curious to see and we never make her stand back, always allowing her see what she said she wanted to see. 

 Last week on the day I blogged our very tame duck ,R.J, hatched out her first duckling. Her nest was only a few feet from our front door and we all waited for those first ducklings to hatch. Lyra got to see the little beak pecking out and later in the day the foot, until there was a fluffy lemon coloured duckling. Whom she named,  Lovin Heart.  All the next day she watched as , Lovin Heart, took first food and bath splashing around in a old pie pan. The next day a little dark coloured duckling hatched out and that was it for the clutch. For a day they all wandered around but that evening we found Lovin Heart lying belly up, we knew something was wrong. I picked her up and R.J was pushing her trying to get her to stand up but her duckling was not responding.  We looked down her mouth and looked it up in our books. Unable to find out any reason, I could tell the duckling was going to die. Lyra was worried and I told her the Lovin Heart was going to die and did she want to hold her. Something she has not done as Mamma ducks do not allow. She said she did, she held her close to her heart and I knew she could feel in her hands and heart for the first time what something feels like that is going to die. 

That in between two worlds hanging heavy, a lightness of leaving. When she put her down she was angry and started kicking the sand pile yelling "I don't want her to die". This plan expression of death was so moving for me, I knew this was the first time that she going experience death. Untimely and without reason. I held for while as she cried and we cried together. Feeling her grief was overwhelming.  After she settled down I asked her if she wanted to have a funeral for Lovin Heart. Yes, she did. Although the duckling was still alive at the time. We started gathering what ever she thought of rocks, jewels, flowers and digging a hole. It was time for bed and Noah held the duck for an hour as I put the children to bed. About ten minutes after putting it under the heat lamp and the children where asleep, Lovin Heart died. In the morning we told Lyra and we all went out and had a funeral right away, Lyra carried the duckling out and put her very solemnly in the ground. She wanted to do it all herself and then covered her up with dirt and carefully arranged the rocks, jewels and flowers we had collected the night before. She started humming to herself she picked some berries for the finishing touches and that was it, her grief was gone and her sprit lifted. She had created something beautiful to remember her duckling by. After that we all went and feasted on peas before breakfast.  

"It is up to us to take the black shroud off the image of death and let the light in."
Peggy O'Mara

At Home

West Coast Seeds

The chicks have grown up fast and are happy to be moving around the field. They sure eat a lot. 

It's the actually sitting down at the computer to blog, which always keeps me from blogging. I could blog everyday and most of the time I do, in my head. I think about what I could write as I work around the farm. But there are few days the computer is even on and I'm on of those people who will not turn the wifi on unless it is needed.
 Most of the time we are to busy outside. The weather has been extra amazing and hot for May. Our duck R.J is hatching out her first ducklings as I write. Remember when you where little and everyone had kittens this time of year? You could dress them in doll clothes and push them around your dolly stroller? Well it's almost as exciting as that, expect a broody duck is not as friendly as a mamma cat. 
Well, I have taken on milking the sheep. I always said I wasn't going to breastfeed and milk an animal at the same time. So I never learnt how to milk the cow. I just did the all the milk processing. But with Morgan nearing the end of breastfeeding and the size of our sheep's bag it is my turn to learn. I'm really enjoying it and last night I got about half a litre. Which is the most yet and we are on day five of milking, this is also her first lamb.  The day I was born I learned to nurse, at twenty-six  I breastfeed my own child and at twenty-nine I will learn how to milk. My lactation education continues. I really don't want to wean, Morgan, until I have some other form of real milk to feed him. I am determined as per usual. 

Nursing Morgan
Photo credit to Noah

Starting to play together, the long grass makes for many great games of hide and seek. 

Our hard worker, who we refer to as Foreman Morgan 

West Coast Seeds
This is our first year we have SO many peas. The past four years different animals, insects and birds have eaten them but thanks to our dog, Jasper, we have peas!  Lyra is so happy she can go and eat them whenever she wants. 

And this is what happens when I ask Noah to dress him for the day. 

Nothing says I love you like two truck loads of cow manure. I had no idea where else to plant those forty squash plants.

Our first day milking the sheep, Shasta, we all got a little sip. 

And most of the time I can't get anything done, because they need to be pushed on the swing.
 I don't mind a bit.