The Quadra Farm : Loving Heart

In my daughter's short five years she has witnessed deaths of many animals, so it is with life on a farm. Some animals dying from old age, illness or most often for food. She has always been curious to see and we never make her stand back, always allowing her see what she said she wanted to see.

Last week on the day I blogged our very tame duck ,R.J, hatched out her first duckling. Her nest was only a few feet from our front door and we all waited for those first ducklings to hatch. Lyra got to see the little beak pecking out and later in the day the foot, until there was a fluffy lemon coloured duckling. Whom she named, Lovin Heart. All the next day she watched as , Lovin Heart, took first food and bath splashing around in a old pie pan. The next day a little dark coloured duckling hatched out and that was it for the clutch. For a day they all wandered around but that evening we found Lovin Heart lying belly up, we knew something was wrong. I picked her up and R.J was pushing her trying to get her to stand up but her duckling was not responding. We looked down her mouth and looked it up in our books. Unable to find out any reason, I could tell the duckling was going to die. Lyra was worried and I told her the Lovin Heart was going to die and did she want to hold her. Something she has not done as Mamma ducks do not allow. She said she did, she held her close to her heart and I knew she could feel in her hands and heart for the first time what something feels like that is going to die.

That in between two worlds hanging heavy, a lightness of leaving. When she put her down she was angry and started kicking the sand pile yelling "I don't want her to die". This plan expression of death was so moving for me, I knew this was the first time that she going experience death. Untimely and without reason. I held for while as she cried and we cried together. Feeling her grief was overwhelming. After she settled down I asked her if she wanted to have a funeral for Lovin Heart. Yes, she did. Although the duckling was still alive at the time. We started gathering what ever she thought of rocks, jewels, flowers and digging a hole. It was time for bed and Noah held the duck for an hour as I put the children to bed. About ten minutes after putting it under the heat lamp and the children where asleep, Lovin Heart died. In the morning we told Lyra and we all went out and had a funeral right away, Lyra carried the duckling out and put her very solemnly in the ground. She wanted to do it all herself and then covered her up with dirt and carefully arranged the rocks, jewels and flowers we had collected the night before. She started humming to herself she picked some berries for the finishing touches and that was it, her grief was gone and her sprit lifted. She had created something beautiful to remember her duckling by. After that we all went and feasted on peas before breakfast.